Tourists on the Ride

Sung to the tune of The Statler Brothers' Flowers on the Wall (nothin' to do).   (click here for music)

(First verse)
I keep hearing your complaints
About "S.O.P - ness"
But all that crap you're giving me is
E-go I guess

If I were riding in your boat
I wouldn't make a fuss
About your spiel, it's no big deal
Tell all the jokes you must


(Chorus 1)
Loading tourists on the ride
With my hands upon my side

Making jokes that are not right
When my manager's not in site

Calling butterflies their proper
Sci-en-tif-ic name
I'm telling you, it's all a game!


(Second verse)
It's good to hang around the dock box
When the queue is full
I missed my bump, don't be a grump
I'm sick of all your bull!

I'll take a trip and see what kind of
Crew I've got on board.
Oh no they're jerks, guess I'll just have to
Make sure I'm deplored.


(Second chorus)
Oh the elephants can be heard
Speak you big dumb gray bastard

Natives dancing in their den
Guess they lost that key again

Telling guests off when they make me mad
It makes me glad
Now don't tell me, my spiel's bad!


(Last verse)
Last night I backed up in the temple
Oh it was a sight
The boat behind, it almost hit
It really was a fright

And then I started yelling at
Our dear old Chief Namee
But when I got back to the dock
I sounded S.O.P.


(Last Chorus)
Temple diving in the sun,
That can be a lot of fun

Doing run throughs in the dark
When we've got guests in the park

Taking long dead trips and peeing at
In-spi-ra-tion falls
Now don't tell me, I've got no balls!

Don't tell me, I've got no balls.....